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Sep 8th, 2011 10:29 AM #1
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Philadelphia, PA
A state of depression (mentally not monitarily)? A Changing mentality that comes with the times....
When one reaches a point where the skies aren't as blue as they were the day before, it changes our moods. The food doesn't taste so sweet, and the little insecurities we once ignored become the burdens we can barely stand to endure
This is a fact of life. Sadly, most people ignore it for better, or worse.....
Many people try and call upon their social circles during times when struggles or inner hardships become too much for us to bare. Is it out of necessity? Or is it a deep seeded cry for attention which we seem to propel ourselves toward rather than face our fears and anxieties as most adults should (but don't).
Can it be that even the most successful people can often times be the most troubled and burdened?
Can it be that the more we choose to run away from problems, we face the inevitable burden of questioning our own existence? Of questioning what our purpose is in life?
Those who can't answer their own life questions are doomed to repeat the same mistakes and are doomed to create even more questions than answers in their own minds as they grow older.
It's a sad thought yes....
The idea, the mere thought of being old....and clueless.
The proposition of having not only failed to achieve the modest task of even figuring out ones own identity, but
limiting oneself to perpetual labeling from friends and coleagues alike for a lack of vision into their own mind; that combined with a dulled sense of reality and no desire to "figure things out" make for a prawn of epic proportions.
But there's hope.......
If you were able to put your shoes on today, choose what size starbucks coffee you wanted to drink today, or the type of gas you put in your car, well, you made those choices. However, if you based those choices solely on what others have told you then well, you my friend are still a part of a mindless system.
I've made my share of mistakes......
I'm in heavy debt, my car died on me, and I have less than 30 dollars in my bank account. But, I still made every choice, right or wrong, up to this point in my life. You know what? Things could be worse.
I have two jobs, I have a roof over my head and live on my own, I have my laptop, my college degree, and I'm getting paid to do what I love (comedy and working with people). Now I haven't settled mind you.....
That comes with experience. My life has been hard, but it made me a stronger person. This was due to a mindset I've had since I was a child. Reinforced all the more by two great professors I had in college who encouraged me to pursue my passions and follow "my bliss........."
So what can you do? What can society do to change this?
Don't listen to anything I've said, or follow my examples. I'm slowly rebuilding my life, I just turned 24 and I have a lifetime ahead of me to learn, grow, love, and lose; win, succeed, challenge, and prosper. You need to put your best hand forward sometimes (to use a card reference) and see what happens.
How can you win though if you never ante up?
Too many people find a job and settle; find a partner, marry, have kids, and settle. Life isn't about settling, life is about finding. Finding out who you are, what you want, and what drives YOU...
But if you never even sit down to the table and "try," just "try," you'll never know will you?
You'll just sit there wondering what if.
Do yourself a favor folks....
Turn around, look back, and ask yourself "why;" why did I do this, or that. What do I want in life, and how am I going to get there one day. You can do anything you want if you actually take the time.
Sep 8th, 2011 11:11 AM #2
I have met so many people who do not try at all and all they can offer is excuses why..looks like you have a fantastic outlook, let it serve you well."DARK-SIDED! Tampering in dark-sided stuff.
Gargolyes! psychics" Margaret
Maybe you can do like the horses do and send this message to your Ex via telepathy. Fut004
Sep 10th, 2011 8:43 AM #3
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- United Kingdom [England]
I think there are a number of stages a person can reach from dealing with the burdens of life to outright despair.
Can you categorically say that you have truly been in a very very dark place and compare that with feeling down or blue?
I think also it is an achievement to reach a low and pull yourself out of it....even though things aren't great its good to know that the self can win one over....and that is a wonderful thing. Trying is all that it takes for many scenarios we find ourselves in. But what if a persons coping ability is broken, what if a point is reached where each day is dark and the world distant, the path lost?
Then I suppose it all depends on the state of your own mind, and your own psyche. Is it so easy to repeatedly find yourself going round in ever decreasing circles.....perhaps for now it might be endurable....but whats to say in a year from now as the circle decreases even more that at some point the darkness that you have evaded slowly and surely creeps in?
As the slow ebb of a new kind of low takes grip, the world you once knew changes, you no longer can deal with the simplest of things...perhaps you stop eating. Sleeping becomes impossible, and your friends don't understand you anymore. Your mood changes and your persona unrecognisable, and as each subtle change takes hold nothing is positive anymore, even the fact you have 30 dollars becomes a binding wake....a knawing thought. People are distant now and as you close the door behind you you think it might be best not to open it again. Friends haven't seen you around and when they do they wish they hadn't....until the death of friendship comes, people find excuses and they just simpy are no more.
Then in this solitary world, internal thoughts take over, constant, nagging unreproachable...it seems as somehow as you wake up to the reality of it all your mind has a new dimension. What once seemed a wonderful thing just simply is no more, what once brought joy brings nothing but sadness, a dark and penetrating numbness...paralysing and utter despair. As the days keep on going by you loose touch with time, a week passes by and you haven't been out the door. Your manager calls you and your just simply not there anymore....sowly but surely thinking of a way out...a path away from it all.
Can't go on, can't...nothing to live for. The thoughts in your head swirling round, irratic and jumbled....disordered and dangerous. The final nail is the loneliness and the self consuming torment...irrational swirling and not just negative but pitch black dark.
Then the resolution, the plan the way out.....how do I do it? Gas myself in the car? Paracetomol and whisky? to the more elaborate ideas grand schemes and a new frightening courage....the thought of an end brings a peacful solitude....ah yes an end to this pain."Two things are infinite: the Universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the Universe." -Albert Einstein [1879-1955]
Sep 16th, 2011 11:36 AM #4
Coolcomic mate, your profile says you're into Spiritism.
The Bible says don't do Spiritism.
You said your life's unhappy.
I rest my case..:)
Remember how the crew of the Nostromo realised too late that the 'distress' beacon in Alien was a warning beacon?
The Bible's full of such warning beacons. Ignore them and you're up shit creek..:)
Sep 19th, 2011 10:41 AM #5
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Philadelphia, PA
My key to happiness lies in every move I make towards my goals and dreams.
In the grand scheme of things I'm very happy....
I'm happy that I overcame poverty, child abuse, and an array of other things throughout my life to become a college graduate with my BS (which I earned by taking a bus everyday 2 hours each way for 4 years), a full time job at a large internet company utilizing my degree, and that I am able to live on my own.
My life however isn't tailored to those achievements. I don't feel any true sense of fulfillment in that sense not due to a lack of actual achievement, but again, due more to a lack of personal achievement.
I am again however 24 years old. I realize that I have my entire life ahead of me.
That being said, the main difference between an individual who may be unhappy due to his/her lot in life, and someone who simply wants more, and wants more than just basic happiness, is that the individual with goals and aspirations outside of the "norm" generally has a psyche and outlook on life that produces more fire than steam.
I thrive on that, for better or worse.
It is who I am, it is what carried me through poverty, shelters, and got me away from friends in the "hood" who as I've returned since leaving, have since (majority wise) turned to drugs, prostitution, and worse.
My individualized mentality made me a strong willed young man with the ability to overcome what was thought of in my area as being an unbreakable cycle.
So maybe I am a bit of a bitter person, but I am far from unhappy....
Maybe I am unsatisfied, but I am far from unmotivated...
and maybe I am driven by more than just passion, but my reasoning is certainly justified.
That lets me sleep comfortably every night :)
Sep 19th, 2011 11:23 AM #6
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Philadelphia, PA
I can't pretend to be a martyr for myself. Because I don't know everyone's story....
Mine however can't be summed up in a brief essay or a diatribe about my thoughts and feelings. No. It's much
more than that. Have I felt real darkness and despair? Yes; and to be honest, it may have even gone beyond that
once or twice.
The conditions you spoke of in your response, go into a more or less "conditioned response."
While it is very true that there are more people who reach those dark places and never seem to dig their way
out without a long arduous struggle, or assistance from outside sources, there are people who do have the inner
strength and perseverance that comes only with conditioning and an internal will to survive.
Again my story is probably one many have heard before....
I'm 24 years old, I grew up in shelters and motels. Dealt with child abuse (mental and physical; including
being strangled with cords, belts, and worse. Being chased with knives by a schizophrenic father, or stabbed
by an equally unbalanced sibling. Overhearing parental arguments involving the statement "why did you keep your
legs open, did you see what came out?" All this at 10 years old and I won't even get into my early to mid teens.
Maybe I'm just different. Maybe I was blessed with an intelligence, and keen sense of awareness to be able to
fend and think for myself. To not allow my plight to determined my destiny, and to not allow my focus in both
life and my directional goals to be intermittent by my situation at home.
I've slept in my car, I've taken the hard road, I've worked three jobs at once, and again all before my 25th
I've had those suicidal moments when I told no one, when I alerted no one of my intents prior to those moments.
I've been in the darkness and despair of my own mind rationalizing my thoughts and questioning my own existence
at times. I've had those days, weeks, months, and years.
My saving grace however has always been my "persist through to fight" response and mentality. I can't explain it,
and I can't pretend it isn't there, because it is.
Again, my conditioning. Being homeless as a child, living in poverty most of my life, and overcoming it all to
put myself through college, and meet every adversity with a "lets dig out of this" mentality. These shaped me
into who I am. Do I still face problems today? Of course. Have I had days where I'd leave work to head to a bar
close it down with the staff? Yes. Have I had those days where I wondered if I could even reach down and questioned
what I could do to resolve my plight? Yes. The difference is, I've always had the ability to overcome it through
the knowledge that I've always had to fight against adversity, and I've always come out on top.
I'm sure you'd counter with the idea of "what if I couldn't come out on top?" What if I found myself unable
to dig down deep one more time and pull it out as I always have. Well again, it comes with conditioning. I've
been there once or twice but even when I couldn't control my situation, I could control the variables. I could
always muster up my inner strength and remind myself of what I have gone through and what my life could have been
had I not remained focused, and had I not allow myself to trust others (like teachers, co-workers, and employers)
in teaching me, and leaving my heart open to new experiences and exchanges; exchanges of knowledge, and survival
tactics that in todays world seem to be highly underutilized.
So to answer your question, yes. I have been to the darkest depths of hell and back emotionally and physically.
Did I ever find myself unable to cope? Unable to rise? Or unable to focus? No. Because I am have been conditioned.
That makes me fortunate. Am I foolish enough to think there won't be more times, or harsher circumstances down
the line? No. But I know that when you allow fear and uncertainty to enter and take control of your psyche, you're
always doomed for failure. When you allow irrationality to become your voice, you can lose focus.
It's only when you keep your mind open to possibilities, and focus on what can be done and what you've been
through (or if it's a first time, what others have been through), and simply put everything in a proper
perspective that you are truly able to overcome those dark times. That you can maybe not walk the same line,
or pave the same circles where the weeds no grow, but forge new trails and see where they lead.
It's hard, but it can be done.
Sep 19th, 2011 1:16 PM #7
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- 64th latitude north....Where global warming is a plus
I suppose the words carpe diam is something that grows through the hardships life throws your way. We know what we want while laying in bed putting the puzzle together piece by piece, yet when we awake and run on auto pilot for the next 8 hours... it would seem the will to fulfill the dream gets washed away.
Sometimes you have to drop the "security" of the 9 to 5, and just walk away, and set in motion those things you know deep down inside that will satisfy. Spooky, you bet your ass,..... buts whats worse? watching 20 years fly by, and wondering why you didn't.
when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature
Sep 19th, 2011 1:30 PM #8
This makes my story seem pretty humdrum by comparison. I have every admiration for anyone that can recover from adversity."I see no God up here"
Yuri Gagarin 1961.
Sep 20th, 2011 4:28 AM #9
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- United Kingdom [England]
I don't for one moment doubt your current coping mechanisms and how they have helped you out of a dark patch or two and from what I read a dire start to life.....that is something to celerbrate and continue with. However depression is not the same as experiencing lifes tribulations and coping with them whether down or blue. The point about depression is that you become helpless....you reach a point where you just don't function in that way anymore......you simply don't bounce back.
I hope you stay on the right path in terms of mental health.....good luck and fortune for the future too"Two things are infinite: the Universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the Universe." -Albert Einstein [1879-1955]
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