View Poll Results: Should we bring back the AO Awards?

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  • Yes

    21 80.77%
  • No

    3 11.54%
  • Indifferent

    2 7.69%
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Thread: AO Awards

  1. #26
    Loser of pens Contributor Vuall's Avatar
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    Fickle???

    who?
    where?
    what?

    (rhetorical)
    "I see no God up here"
    Yuri Gagarin 1961.

  2. #27
    Loser of pens Contributor Vuall's Avatar
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    bump for more votes.
    "I see no God up here"
    Yuri Gagarin 1961.

  3. #28
    Bank Robber Contributor Tsunami's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vuall View Post
    bump for more votes.
    Say again?

  4. #29
    Survivalist! Traveler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stabby Joe View Post
    One issue is like those years ago, about three users won everything, mostly however due to the sheer amount of posts made.

    Since at the time only a few posted aplenty every day warrant pretty much acknowledgment for everything regardless.

    If we did bring it back however, best threads, quotes etc would be better suited than best member, mod, new etc given the somewhat fickle views users have towards other ones.
    I think this is one of Laz's better ideas

    Let him run with it. It can be fun!
    Blessings in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ who came in the flesh and now sits at the right hand of our God on high.

    A confession of faith that the modern Evangelical movement can no longer make!

  5. #30
    Local Pedant Contributor lazserus's Avatar
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    There will definitely be more options than before, so there won't just be three people taking home awards. Once we get enough votes to justify the laborious process we'll start discussing what types of awards will be available. I've seen some pretty good ideas so far in this thread, which we can expand upon, and I'll start a new thread for ideas once enough votes are in and this one is closed.

  6. #31
    One left in the chamber Global Moderator TC's Avatar
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    I always appreciate well thought out posts, it brings a lot of credibility to the forum. And we have good people here who make the effort.

  7. #32
    A dinosaur... no reason Contributor Stabby Joe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lazserus View Post
    There will definitely be more options than before, so there won't just be three people taking home awards. Once we get enough votes to justify the laborious process we'll start discussing what types of awards will be available. I've seen some pretty good ideas so far in this thread, which we can expand upon, and I'll start a new thread for ideas once enough votes are in and this one is closed.
    That's fair enough.

    The years ago structure appeared somewhat discouraging so yeah, with many users giving input then we could have something fun for the site every year.

    Quick question however, will voting in this thread be time caped or not? I ask because if for example months later enough votes are in yet some of the older votes may have came from users who for one reason or another are no longer active meaning the desired amount of votes may be lacking.
    Science doesn't have all of the answers... otherwise it wouldn't be science.

  8. #33
    Loser of pens Contributor Vuall's Avatar
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    That's true Stabby, maybe you should do it weekly Laz?
    "I see no God up here"
    Yuri Gagarin 1961.

  9. #34
    Local Pedant Contributor lazserus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stabby Joe View Post
    Quick question however, will voting in this thread be time caped or not? I ask because if for example months later enough votes are in yet some of the older votes may have came from users who for one reason or another are no longer active meaning the desired amount of votes may be lacking.
    The votes themselves will not expire, but the poll will. Once the poll expires no more votes can be cast without starting a new poll. I shouldn't have made the poll expire so soon, but I was expecting a lot more votes quicker. The downside of starting a new poll is we'll have overlapping votes. I won't be able to restrict who votes in a second poll, therefore the final figures will be skewed.

    We still have 16 days before the poll closes, so maybe we can double these numbers by then. Any excess of 30 total votes in favor of awards should be plenty. That means we have 16 days to get at least 10 more votes for awards.

  10. #35
    Bank Robber Contributor Tsunami's Avatar
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  11. #36
    Cart-mod 2.0 Global Moderator Cartesiantheater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lazserus View Post
    Some years ago, when AO was about one-eighth its current population, and when managing the site was so much simpler, we held annual awards. Nearing award-time a poll was run wherein members could vote on different categories. The big award was "Poster of the Year," though I believe we had some minor ones as well. The awards did not yield anything monetary, like free shirts or a giftcard, nothing of those sorts, but they were badges of honor. A member could display a special signature or image showing off to all visitors that he/she was Poster of the Year in 2002.

    I think it would be fun to try something like that again. It may sound silly, but when we did it before, the community of AO really came together. Votes and discussions brought out the best in the members, because everyone seemed excited to either be nominated or even cast a vote in favor of another. I have some categorical ideas that could be used in a new and improved awards system/ceremony, and I certainly would love to see members pull together in a positive manner.

    I am not ready to divulge the categories I have in mind just yet, mainly because I'd like to hear from all of you. Should we try to do something like this again? Annually or biannually? For now let's just pull in votes for or against this idea. After we can discuss in detail the categories we'd like to vote on in a separate thread.

    You recall THIS epic thread?




    Quote Originally Posted by B.NyeTheUruk-Hai View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cartesiantheater View Post
    Look at what Bill's doing here!!!!!




    See what he's trying to do? And he accuses ME!
    What the -- ??? How did you get ahold of that picture??? I thought that I had destroyed all of the copies! Roly Poly PROMISED me that he wouldn't release those pictures! That furry little finger f**ker!

    You thought THAT was disturbing! Check out what Mr.Theater is doing with THESE hamsters. He is building his own personal hamster army and arming them with teeny tiny machine guns!

    http://witze.net/funpics/hamster_with_gun.jpg

    And he is training his hamster army in Al Qaeda style hamster terrorist training camps...

    http://witze.net/funpics/hamster.jpg

    And God knows WHAT Mr.Theater is training the hamsters for HERE...

    http://witze.net/funpics/hamster_roll.jpg



    I did NOT buy drugs! I bought a vote... errrrrr... a porcerain figurine!

    Quote Originally Posted by B.NyeTheUruk-Hai View Post
    Presidential Hopeful Cartesiantheater linked to H.A.M.S.T.E.R. Extremists

    January 16th, 2007
    Wackjob Press


    Agamemnon Online voters today were stunned upon hearing the news that Presidential Candidate Cartesiantheater has previously had ties to the extremist organization known as H.A.M.S.T.E.R. ( Heinous Army of Maliciously Sadistic Tyrannical Evil Rodents ).

    Reportedly, after getting wasted and watching a particularly raunchy episode of "Hammy Hamster", Mr.Theater and his running mate, Richard Gere, hit the streets looking for some furry poontang. Witnesses say that Mr.Theater contacted a Mr.Durkastan Diggler, a local pimp known as "Dirk" by his hoes. Mr.Diggler has known ties to the H.A.M.S.T.E.R. organization.

    http://www.boxinggame.com/tbgpros/27...p%20gerbil.jpg
    Photo of "Dirk" Diggler,
    local hamster pimp and
    H.A.M.S.T.E.R. sleeper
    cell ringmaster.


    Witnesses later told reporters how Mr.Theater described the alleged rodent sex as "earmuff tang" before stumbling away in a drunken stupor to attend a pro - H.A.M.S.T.E.R. rally which was led my its enigmatic frontman, Martin Toother King Jr.

    http://www.ngs.noaa.gov/LewisAndClark/images/gerbil.jpg
    Reclusive, enigmatic H.A.M.S.T.E.R. frontman, Martin Toother King Jr., speaks
    at a recent pro-hamster rally sponsored by Vaseline.


    Luckily, before King could incite the masses to riot, gerbil 5-0 showed up and cracked some skulls, hauling off Mr.Theater and Martin Toother King Jr. to the local big house.

    http://www.webexpo.org/users/halebop...y%20gerbil.jpg

    Witnesses at the jail describe Mr.Theater as being "extremely cooperative" during the arrest process.

    "Mr.Theater did not resist in any way," one of the arresting and booking officers at the jail said. "He did not object at all to the rectal search. In fact, he insisted that we be extra thorough with the process and that we also verbally abuse him while we were performing the search. His cell mates also described him as being very easy to get along with, but they thought it strange how he repeatedly dropped the soap in the shower and loudly announced to his fellow shower mates that he was about to pick the soap up."

    When asked if anything unusual was found during the rectal search, the officer said, "We only found some kernels of corn in Mr.Theater's anus. Mr.Gere, however, was a different story."
    Quote Originally Posted by Cartesiantheater View Post
    Official Statement:

    My fellow Armaggedeans, recently there has been an attempt by the Nye Campaign to smear the good Character of Cartesiantheater with absurd and distasteful allegations. One such allegation reads as follows: from the Wackjob Press

    However, the allegations posted by the WACKJOB press are demonstrably false... Think about it... do you trust WACKJOBS?!

    It is well documented that Mr. Theater was in fact at Camp David this past week discussing the new plan on the Iraq War with the President, and was never arrested at all. While at Camp David, Mr. Theater also discussed a new campaign against the unlawful sexual exploitation of Hamsters.

    Intrinsic in this new attack against Hamster molesters is the R.A.P.E initiative, or the Resistance to Animal Pornographic Exploitation initiative. This initiative has been monitoring the internet use of prime suspects in these sex crimes, one of whom is Presidential Candidate Bill Nye.

    Here is what we found on Mr. Nye's computer...

    Here he is Caught in the ACT! (notice the victim trying to escape...)

    Also, we found this...

    Link.

    Note how these poor baby hamsters are forced to engage in a sick orgy, covered in Vaseline...

    We also discovered the following:

    This. And...

    http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/hamster.jpg

    http://home.austin.rr.com/tmaus/VP_Hamster.gif

    Here's Mr. Nye preparing for oral sex with a hamster...

    http://uk.gizmodo.com/jeremy%20clarkson.jpg

    Bill Nye recording a trainf*ck of Hamsters (this is labeled mature and requires you to log into youtube)

    He just has no shame...


    The R.A.P.E. initiative uncovered numerous other documents and pornographic videos created and/or downloaded by Mr. Nye.


    -Also, it should be noted that the photos Mr. Nye posted (namely, the Hamster with the machine gun, the one with the weights, and the one in the tube) are merely photos from Cartesiantheater's charity fat camp for disabled hamsters.

    Quote Originally Posted by lycanox View Post
    Just like the real politics!
    ............

    Quote Originally Posted by Cartesiantheater View Post
    My fellow Armageddeans... the time has come for me to reveal to you the true nature of this election...

    You see, this election is for more than AO.. it is for our very souls! Bill Nye is actually the Evil Emperor Lord Zerg and is planning to open a portal for the Demon King to break through to our dimension. Should Bill Nye succeed in this endever, the entire planet will be lost...

    Emperor Zerg(in the plasma state)

    http://static.zoovy.com/img/coolstuf...emonskull1.jpg

    (Bill in his TRUE terrifying state- combined with the Demon King...)

    http://kael.civfanatics.net/images/Leaders/Hyborem.jpg

    So yes, Armageddeans, I HAVE been building a secret army of Hamster to fight him. See, the Hamsters I am training will fight for LIGHT against the evil Hamsters of Nye and the Devil...They are magic Unicorn-Liger Hamster, bred for their skills in magic and self propulsion... but they will be able to sneak into the enemy camps becuase they ARE Hamsters as well...

    http://witze.net/funpics/hamster_with_gun.jpg

    With the help of the Ultimate Hampster Training Adventure, these Hamsters are the meanest of the mean, the toughest of the tough, the smartest of the smart...

    Here is my secret weapon....

    The Ultimate Hampster Training Program



    Vote for me so I can continue training this army to fight Nye, the Evil Emperor Lord Zerg! Time is running out! Vote now before it is too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!



    ~I'm Cartesiantheater, and if you don't vote for me, you will surely die...





    Quote Originally Posted by B.NyeTheUruk-Hai View Post
    << steps up to podium that has hundreds of microphones as thousands of camera flashes go off >>

    My fellow Agamemnons...

    Now that the election has been won, the truth shall become known to all...

    << rips pieces of skin off his face as though it were a rubber mask, revealing the true nature of his visage as seen below >>
    http://kael.civfanatics.net/images/Leaders/Hyborem.jpg

    PUNY HYOO-MONS, THOU HATH FOOLISHLY VOTED IN MIGHTY LORD ZERG AS YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT!!! THE FOOL CARTESIAN TRIED TO WARN YOU OF MY COMING, BUT HE WAS TOO LATE.

    THANKS TO THE RECENT ARMAGEDDON ONLINE SOFTWARE UPDATE, I WAS GIVEN ENOUGH OF A DISTRACTION TO OPEN THE DIMENSIONAL PORTAL TO YOUR PUNY WORLD. JUST AS A SIDE NOTE, THE PHYSICAL LOCATION OF THIS PORTAL ON YOUR PUNY WORLD IS THE ANUS OF SOMEBODY NAMED UKI. BUT I DIGRESSETH...

    EVEN NOW, AS WE SPEAK, THE FOOL CARTESIAN HAS LAUNCHED AN ALL-OUT ASSAULT OF HIS HAMSTER ARMY OF LIGHT, CONSISTING OF EXACTLY 144,000 HAMSTERS ALL ARMED WITH INEFFECTIVE PLASTIC MACHINE GUNS. IN RESPONSE, YOURS TRULY, MIGHTY LORD ZERG,
    << pauses and poses with a smile for the cameras as thousands of flashes go off simultaneously before reassuming a menacing pose >> HAS LAUNCHED A DEFENSIVE MEASURE KNOWN AS THE G.E.R.E. INITIATIVE, WHICH STANDS FOR "GERBIL EATING RECTAL ENTRANCE". I WON'T EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS AS IT MAKES EVEN MIGHTY ZERG SICK WITH DISGUST, BUT BELOW IS A PHOTO SHOWING A DEMONSTRATION OF THE DEVICE CAPTURING A SMALL HYOO-MON CHILD:
    http://surge.ods.org/pix/mom_trip_1_...des/rectum.jpg

    Side Note: B.Nye (not Zerg), during his attempt to find a funny rectum photo on Google Images, inadvertently saw a photo of an actual prolapsed rectum. Bill will not be eating anything for the remainder of the week...

    THUS, THE FOOL CARTESIAN'S HAMSTER ARMY OF LIGHT WILL BE INEFFECTIVE AND THE WORLD WILL FALL UNDER THE MIGHT OF--

    << Bill's/Zerg's campaign manager taps Zerg on the shoulder and whispers into his ear. As the campaign manager is whispering, a look of realization washes over Zerg's face and he prompty defecates on the floor at the base of the podium >>

    YOU MEAN... THE ELECTION IS NOT OVER? THERE ARE... STILL TWO MORE DAYS?

    << Zerg suddenly holds up a tiny sign that says "YIKES!" before grabbing the pieces of his fake human face and Scotch-taping them back into place, seamlessly transforming back into B.NyeTheUruk-Hai >>

    Uuuhhhh... he he... vote for me!

    << flips everybody the bird with both hands as a strip of fake skin falls off his face >>

    << campaign manager whispers to B.Nye again and he immediately changes his finger configuration to that of the Richard Nixon victory sign and flashes a shit-eating grin while thousands of camera flashes go off >>





    That thread was too much fucking fun to NOT bring back an AO awards thread.
    "I was put on trial twice near Y2K for acting like Jesus and claiming to be the Messiah. Its not everyday that a man parks a Chariot of Fire in front of a tomb and stands against the US government with a bow and razor tipped arrows over his shoulder. I wore a suit of armor and was protected by an invisible bubble and my sharp tongue was more than the judicial system could handle."Jake
    "The toilet is more than a throne. It is a sacred chamber."-Anton LaVey, High Priest of Satanism

  12. #37
    Fuq Haters Contributor Nu Kua's Avatar
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    AO Awards 2011 Ideas

    Ok, People! We're going to move ahead with the AO Awards, 2011!

    We are looking for category ideas. This is what we've had so far:

    Most coherent debater
    Best humorous posts
    Most likely to be Sainted
    Most likely to survive
    Best New Word
    Most New Topics
    Most Infuriating
    Best New Member
    Strongest/Most Helpful in Science
    Most Informative in History
    Top Conspirator
    Best Creative Work in Literature
    Best Artwork
    Most Helpful
    Funniest thread
    Most boring poster
    Best thread

    We still haven't worked out exactly how many categories there will be.

    Please share your ideas here for AO Awards, 2011.

    In the next few days we'll pull from the list created here and then go from there.
    "The Alice-in-Wonderland nature of this pronouncement is not lost on me..."

  13. #38
    One left in the chamber Global Moderator TC's Avatar
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    I for one really appreciate a well thought out and composed thread, regardless if I agree or disagree with topic. This shows to me an effort to truly interact with the forum, and the foundations that make AO a notch above the rest. So for my own two cents worth.

    1. Best communicative and composed topic.

    2. Best thread. ( any topic)

    3. Most consistent quality poster.

    4. Best creative writer. ( any topic)

    5. Best written serious thread.

    6. Funnest thread.

    7. Most contributive member. ( written subject)

  14. #39
    Bull$hit Artist Contributor Blu-ray's Avatar
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    This is a wonderful idea Nu.

    I'm thinking:

    1. Crankiest poster.
    2. Most levelheaded poster.
    3. Most agitated poster.
    4. Biggest Downer poster.
    5. Poster most likely to be abducted by aliens.
    6. Poster most likely to be abducted by aliens and given an anal probe.
    7. Poster most likely to go on a shooting spree.


  15. #40
    Bank Robber Contributor Tsunami's Avatar
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    I love it! Well, here's a few ideas,

    Best at researching and informing,
    Best at diffusing tensions,
    Most obsessive on a single topic,
    Most laid back,
    Most skilled in trolling,

    Sorry but my brain is on strike at the moment, I will try to think of some more soon. I love the idea's already posted, I will be keeping them in mind when I read posts. Do we all get to vote? Will it be like a poll? Yay for awards!

  16. #41
    A dinosaur... no reason Contributor Stabby Joe's Avatar
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    I definitely warm towards the idea of including some of the humors or ironic awards such as "most likely to", "notable flame war" or "honorary banned user".
    Science doesn't have all of the answers... otherwise it wouldn't be science.

  17. #42
    (Nothing Award Winner) Red Shift's Avatar
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    HAHA love this idea!

    I'll try and come up with a couple, but I'm not known for my good ideas on the fly.....


    • Most Inappropriate Link (And i don't mean banned content) more like linking to a source which doesn't help the posters case what so ever
    • Most Likely to Become a Cult Leader


    Damn, still thinking hard...

    SJ, I love the Honorary Banned Member, perhaps for someone who would never usually get banned...
    Nasik is the most awesome member on AO!!!!
    I've got 555-PNinja on speed dial...

  18. #43
    Launchin' Nukes at Noobs Contributor weederbro's Avatar
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    Interesting idea, and sure to get everyones attention, but wow!, what a job of work for the judges lol :)
    Nu's post only mentioned History and Science which I found strange. Why not include all the Forum categories?
    'A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth any regrets'.-Arthur C. Clarke.

    'Time wounds all heels'-John Lennon.

  19. #44
    Survivalist! Lillith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blu-ray View Post
    This is a wonderful idea Nu.

    I'm thinking:

    1. Crankiest poster.
    2. Most levelheaded poster.
    3. Most agitated poster.
    4. Biggest Downer poster.
    5. Poster most likely to be abducted by aliens.
    6. Poster most likely to be abducted by aliens and given an anal probe.
    7. Poster most likely to go on a shooting spree.
    8. Poster most likely to be abducted by Aliens and rejected as having unaccepbable/ unsuitable quality traits. .
    Galadriel: "I amar prestar aen. Han mathon ne nen. Han mathon ne chae. A han noston ne 'wilith. "Translation: "The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air."

  20. #45
    Fuq Haters Contributor Nu Kua's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lil
    8. Poster most likely to be abducted by Aliens and rejected as having unaccepbable/ unsuitable quality traits. .
    Who told you? :-(
    I thought I'd be good enough but...
    Last edited by Nu Kua; Dec 4th, 2011 at 10:10 AM.
    "The Alice-in-Wonderland nature of this pronouncement is not lost on me..."

  21. #46
    Cart-mod 2.0 Global Moderator Cartesiantheater's Avatar
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    Some obvious suggestions:


    Funniest poster

    Best Thread

    Most incitement poster/best contributing poster

    Best flame war (well, we had it among liberdave's categories if memory serves)

    Best new poster (member of 1 year or less)

    Most creative thread

    Best artistic work (including literature, or perhaps we can have two awards for this)

    Best signature

    Best avatar

    Biggest nutjob (I kid, i kid)
    "I was put on trial twice near Y2K for acting like Jesus and claiming to be the Messiah. Its not everyday that a man parks a Chariot of Fire in front of a tomb and stands against the US government with a bow and razor tipped arrows over his shoulder. I wore a suit of armor and was protected by an invisible bubble and my sharp tongue was more than the judicial system could handle."Jake
    "The toilet is more than a throne. It is a sacred chamber."-Anton LaVey, High Priest of Satanism

  22. #47
    Local Pedant Contributor lazserus's Avatar
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    We haven't had many members offering suggestions like before. Those who've added thus far (mostly mods) offer great ideas, but if you want your idea considered then you need to give us something! Time's running out! This thread closes in just a few days. After that we staff pull together the categories and start asking for nominations. After the nominations are delivered, we'll take those nominations and produce voting options for everyone in all the different categories. While not set in stone, I'm hoping the nominations will be in by the end of the month. By January 1 we should have the first polls open to the public, hopefully finishing by the end of January. And then we should have the winners in each category posted by Valentine's Day (February 14).

    Again, this schedule I've exposed isn't set in stone. But if we follow it we can get the awards out by the second month of 2012. You want this, we want this. Help us out, become more active!

  23. #48
    Bite Me Contributor JenaS62's Avatar
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    So when do we vote?

  24. #49
    Local Pedant Contributor lazserus's Avatar
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    Once we close off ideas we'll start working on a new forum for voting and what not. It should be pretty obvious when it happens, but I'll make sure to send out a global message. Voting probably won't start for a few weeks from now (06 DEC 2011), maybe even as late as early January. We'll be sure to keep everyone up to speed.

  25. #50
    Bank Robber Contributor Tsunami's Avatar
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    I think from what Laz says we will get to nominate our favorites later this month then we choose the best of each in early January. I can't wait! It's going to be like the Oscars but with people we know! I think the winners should wear their most fancy clothes and put up acceptance speeches on youtube! Maybe the mods could read out the nominations on youtube too and read the winners from an envelope with a recording of clapping in the background! I'm getting carried away in excitment!

    I have a few questions too. Will the nominees know who nominated or voted for them or is it confidential?

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