Well, major major trauma happened earlier this week, and I have to leave my house because my assailant knows where I live since the address was on the checkbook. I hardly sleep, and when I do, my rifle is right by my side, loaded and ready to go. I'm going to start packing my shit up and whatever my son doesn't want in his room at Mom's house will either get sold or go to my moms mobile home in the boonies east of here by about an hour, and I am going to Negril for the month of October. Been really shook up and depressed over what happened...bascially I was beat down and mugged and other stuff. I need to go to Negril...I know this may be wrong of me, but it is my only reason for living right now, just to be able to think of floating in those cool crystal healing waters. When I get back in November I will spend a month or two in the trailer with my brother until I find another place to stay. I am going to put an ad in the paper that says "moving sale, everything must go, come and make an offer". And I will put dayglo tape on the few items not for sale.
I don't care if some would think it running away, when I am still getting threatening phone calls about what will happen to me if I call the polic, and the main person and ringleader has a brother on the force, there is not a lot I can do except do what it takes to protect my safety. This whole area is corrupt as fuck. I didn't even make a formal report, but just made a phone calll to the cops when I got the phone calls today, so I am done with that.
I only wish I had the guts to go pull the trigger on this waste of skin and his cohorts myself. But I have been talked out of it and talked out of killing myself, so I need a reason to live, and Negril is the only reason I could come up with. I know I will be judged and found wanting because I should thinking of my kids first, but they are grown and almost grown and I am just hurting. I am ashamed to go outside because I look like Tina during the IKe years. NO, this wasn't a boyfriend that did this either.
Anyway, I did want to let ya'll know my plans...as soon as the internet cuts out, my computer goes up for sale..and I am not sure when that will be, except that it won't be today because it's a holiday. (labor day) I didn't GIVE my pin number to anyone, I had it beaten out of me, and told my bank they could even look at my medical documents if they wanted to, but they said only a police report would get my money back, and I'm afraid for my life as it is, so that money is gone forever. Mom is going to help with the car payment, and after that I'm on my own. I don't think they'll cut the lights or gas until we leave, and as far as eviction, well this is the only time I have been late on a rent payment in two years of living here, and they are going to have tounderstand that they are not going to get their money just yet..I don't have it. I will have to tell them that later this week, and see if they will take the fridge and air conditioner in lieu of the rent.
I keep bawling like a stupid baby, then will think of Negril, and won't cry as hard. I don't care what anyone thinks, I am doing this for me because I need this trip. I have to get out of this area anyways, and when I get back, my place will be almost two hours away from here.
If ya'll want to check out a place that does live webcasts from Negril, and who knows maybe next month you will see me at one of them, especially the Seastar saturday night deal cus they have an all you can eat buffet for $15 plus excellent live entertainment, then check this site out:
Also, I found a long term rental room for $800 for the month with kitchenette and all right on the beach. This is the place:
Anyone can pm me or whatever, I know the computer is up today, but after that I don't know. Same with the phone. If I am going to be depressed and afraid for my life here, why stay here? I'm going somewhere where the scenery is a damn site prettier, if nothing else.